A day In the life of a Dragon
As some of you may know I work as a ARMED Security Officer at a Predicates Clinic,(hey it beats shoot outs in crappy Apt. complexes) because of previous break ins theft of cars, and fist fights between Mom’s and a Ex-Husbands while Mom is holding the baby it is necessary to be armed. Nice Place. I deal with several types of conflicts on a daily basis, and the worst is when Dad has to bring the kids to the clinic, which he believes is Moms job, so he can set on his ass and drink beer…well can we all say “Major Attitude” when he arrives?. Then it get’s worst if Dad brings in the kids in on Monday after a Sunday Dallas Cowboys ass whipping. I try to cheer Dad up by saying “is that a diaper bag or a man purse” your carrying. Got to say that line has never cheered up any Dads. Now the clinic patients are 90% Hispanic (not that I have anything against Hispanics) but when the kids climb out of their car, it reminds me of the little clown car at the circus where 25 clowns climb out of a car the size of a dog house, and I’m sure the Moms must have taken driving lessions at the Ray Charles driving school. I spend the day betting with myself on how many moves it will take for Mom to get into a parking space. The record is 6.
Now let me just give you a few bone head moves by Parents that I’ve witnessed and of course my sarcastic response to each one.
(1. Kids left in the car with the windows rolled up during the summer heat.
Oh Mom did you forget something like ME little Johnny here in the back seat, and oh
by the way it’s so hot in here my underwear is stuck to my ass.
(2. Kids left in the car with the motor running.
Hey Bobby let’s see what happens when I move this lever to the Big “D”……as the car lunges into the Lobby and runs over Mommy, and the other kids that didn’t feel quite as bad as they do now.
(3. Baby left in a stroller behind the car while Mom starts up the car
Oh shit my car is moving in reverse……were is the baby Honey….I don’t know but looks like we have a transmission leak, and where did all this messed up plastic come from…that’s just great!
(4. Giving the keys to a small child and asking him / her to get something from the car.
Hey Boys and Girls can we say who the FU*& broke the key off in the door lock! Whose fault is that Skippy?
(5. Women leaving her purse’s in plain sight open in the passenger’s seat.
Hey everyone come on and help yourself to this Morons purse contents.
(6. Parent letting a 6 year old carry a new born to the car like a big boy.
Hey Mommy I dropped little Johnny on his head,… I think he now has a bigger soft spot.
(7. Saving the best for last……Parent changing a baby diaper full of shit, and just throwing it on the ground in the parking lot.
Honey you shouldn’t have throw that shitty diaper on the ground…….you want that smelly thing in the car. FU*& it the Security dude will pick it up.
Well that kind of gives you an idea of what the Dragon goes through pretty much on a daily basis, oh yea and let’s not forget the Hispanic women when I ask them a question. There answer is ALWAYS “Me no speak English”. Really I just heard you talking to a person in the Lobby and it sounded like you invented the English Language, so save the smoke up the ass treatment for someone else.
“Dragon”