December 18, 2010 3:56 AM PST
I hear ya Tweek. My kids are getting nothing this year and they understand. Our house is in foreclosure, but we have a home to live in. We're being sued out the ass for bills, but they'll just have to wait. We don't make ends meet so we have to borrow money every month just to get by. But I have a job, we have a vehicle and we've been able to find ways to help others pay their bills and get groceries, which to us is really what it's about.
My husband was injured at work a year and a half ago, six months after his injury, his company terminated him, he'd been there for 16 years. He's received no workman's comp, no disability, nothing since July 14, 2009. But the whole point of that is, he's alive, and he shouldn't be. He's been in the hospital three times, each at least a week. Twice, it was ICU and both times there, the docs met me at his door and told me he wouldn't live through the night. He still has horrible days where I wonder if I'm going to lose him but he always pulls through. We've been to every specialist imaginable, and we've still had no real answers. His medications and doctor bills are more than I make in a month, but somehow, through the grace of our Creator and help from friends and family, we make it.
I get tired, hell I get down right exhausted. I'm the only one working and I can't afford to get sick or have the surgies I need because I dont' have enough PTO saved up to take the time off. But... I have a job and my medical conditions can just wait. Fortuantely, I have a high tolerance for pain and just keep plugging onwards, lol!
Believe me, there are days I want to give up, but it's just not worth it. My philosophy in life is to kick the day in the ass, say "Good Morning, World!" and just start over. Sounds simplistic, but it really does work if you allow it. Yes, things are difficult, but that doesn't mean there's no hope. We're all alive, we have what we need, even if we don't have what we want, and that's what counts.
As much as we'd like to get the kids something for Christmas, our greatest gift is that of family and the fact that my husband is alive to spend each day with us. I work on Christmas and my gift to others may be just simply being there. I work in a hospital and many of my patients have no family.
The best thing I can do this Christmas is helping others, being perhaps the only smiling face someone sees, saying "Merry Christmas," hugging those I love, and telling them that I love them.
As folks keep saying, "This too shall pass..." and it will, in it's own time and in it's own way. It's all part of the journey that we're on so allow the experience to enrich you and even if it doesn't seem enjoyable, just look in another direction and see the beauty there.
Hugs and much love to you, my friend... it WILL get better!
Peace,
Beki
December 18, 2010 4:49 AM PST
Beki,
You are a gracious and couragious lady. I will be praying for you and your family. No one truly knows what the lives of others is like, unless they open up and share. I hope you know that God is with you, and sees into your heart. He knows your worries, and will always be there for you. Your children understand, more than you know, and will be fine. My mother was the one person who always said, "this too shall pass". And she was right. Knowing that doesn't always help. But remember, you are not alone. Ride Free
Tweek