My daughter is pulling my grandson out of school because of a bully.  Given that I'm an old crotchety biker you have to understand that I am really, really, controlling my actions.  I hate to "stay out of it" but I know my methods will only make things worse these days.

The kid bullies everyone.  He's been called to the office a number of times.  His parents have been called in as well. His behavior has been documented time and time again.  All this has resulted in a change from physical abuse to verbal abuse.  He told my grandson that he was going to get Cam to hit him first so he could "finish the job".  I'm certain Cam could pound the sheite out of this kid but Cam has had a pretty solid Christian upbringing.  I don't subscribe personally but I have to respect my daughter's beliefs.

Feeling the need to do something I did send an email to the superintendent of schools.  It was congenial just in case you're wondering. I won't go into the whole thing but I did ask if he personally is made aware of bullying in his district.  I told him my daughter will be pulling Cam out of school and that I wasn't going to try and talk her out of it.  I gave him this kid's history.  I asked him what the district policy is, actions are, when it comes to bullying.

My opinion is that this kid is a real menace, a threat to the welfare and peace of mind to students, and a very real danger to serious consequences; whether by his hand or some student that has finally had enough.  Hell, his actions aren't isolated incidents.  He's a constant bully to all the 9th graders who, because of current idiotic school policy, are not permitted to defend themselves less they become labeled as violent.

I am fkn really pissed off here.  I'm upset that my SIL, who is 6'4" tall and weighing in at just under 235 lbs of lean, hasn't gone to the bully's home and threatened to beat the crap out of the kid's old man if he didn't take control of his son.  Yeah, yeah, yeah; you're right.  It's probably not the way to handle it but for God's sake what is the right way?  Wait for some tormented student to commit suicide or shoot up the school?

My grandson is going to be home schooled, online through some "acclaimed" web sight and totally miss out on any positive high school experiences. It makes me furious.  But, aside from my damn condescending letter to the superintendent I'm staying out of it. Well, for now anyway.  When Cam is out the school I just may go viral and contact the D.A.'s office.

Well first off I think it is outrageous that your daughter would have to pull your grandson out of school because of the lack of action by the school, the school board and even possibly the police. I think your decision to not handle it the way that probably first came to mind was probably a good decision, because you're right that today it would only wind up with you in trouble and no resolution to the problem. Things are handeled much differently these days!

With all of the focus on school bullying these days I can't believe they are not taking the complaints seriously enough to remove the bully from the school instead of FORCING your daughter to pull Cam from the school. I was just at back to school night and saw posters all over that said "You Are Safe Here - Bullies Will Not Be Tolerated". But I guess it is easier to make signs then actually do anything about it.

I think your daughter and SIL DO need to pay a visit to the kids parents, I know I certainly would. Have they tried notifying the police... sounds like there could be more than just school discipline issues and there might be some criminal intent.

By the way. Did you get a response from the superintendent?

Maybe 50-100 bikers need to make a showing at the kid's parents house. Aside from making it known why you are there, no violence, not even trespassing, just the show of force, would probably be more than enough to get the parent's to straighten the kid out.

Good luck

Well my Dad was in the service and knew he would be around much so he taught me how to box and handle myself if I had to at an early age. I was bullied twice, in elementary school and high school both times I took care of it myself after something happened that made me say enough of this. Bullies are cowards and running away just makes it tougher to deal with them in the future.

Sorry to hear of your troubles with that situation.Your taking a wise course,and I admire your restraint.
Besides as anyone knows with lots of family,some can be bullies,and some can be angels,yet we cannot truly control the actions of others,especially if there is some sort emotional issue going on at home which is triggering the bad behavior,or some kind of medical condition causing the bullying.

The parents may be at their wits end trying to get the youngster to behave,some friendly overtures on your part may reveal as much.Do not let anger cloud your senses,it only defeats your better nature.

I was bullied in school at times & beaten up perty good one time as a freshman in HS,my older brother found out n took care of that guy & his buddy,set them straight.Another time I had 3 guys my size try corner me n try take me down, I fought back, made them pay for their insults,tho I was suspended for 3 days.After that incident they never gave me sheit again n eventually one guy turned into a good friend thru school.

hope that everything turns out okay sending good thoughts your way!!!

 Ya know, that's all well and good back when we were kids.  I was born in 1948 as well and our generation was able to handle things ourselves.  In today's world the system allows bullies to be cowards; coddling them, forgiving them, searching for behavioral reasons, justifying their behavior, caring very little about taking responsibility for behavior.  There's "always" an excuse; he's from a single parent family, he was beaten as a child, he was picked on himself, or some sort of stress syndrome that makes him behave the way he does. The bullshit (excuses) have gotten out of hand.  I'm as compassionate as the next guy  but sometimes you just have to let kids go at it.  Win, lose, or draw a good fight just might end the whole thing.

JimmyK, your response or edit of my post doesn't change what I said or how I said it. All you left out was, "in today's world". I didn't say adults need to be involved but that they get involved.
You said, ''Nothing has changed"?????? Maybe out in the old west nothing has changed. They don't just suspend kids here if they get caught fighting, they expel them; but not before they call the law. I agree it "should" end things but it doesn't because it isn't just the kids who are involved. Hell, I'd stay out of it. Cam's parents would stay out of it. The school wouldn't and they would pass judgment and dish out punishment on the innocent; even if it was off of school property. It's a damn "nanny" state or haven't you heard.

Greetings Mr. Acorn

I am confident you recognize I meant no offense. Reading your response I actually believe we no doubt see things rather level.

I suppose I left out "today's world" because I believe you and I share the generation responsible for it.

When I say nothing has changed I was referring to the rightful answer and not some geological location.

Shoot, coming up I was both suspended and "asked to leave" from more than one learning institution. First time was 4th grade, St. Bruno in So Cal. Went to live with the grandparents and made it a full year before it was obvious to the school that stepped up, was no longer willing step in.

...So off to public school went the lil red headed monster. Made it this time all the way through (not to, through) my freshman year in High School. Then it seemed more "convenient" to change to another High School for my Sophomore year. And yes, I am proud to say I made it all the way to my Junior year when asked to complete my education in the "continuation of education district" aspect of our fine system.

Went on to continue my education on The State Level, not entering Penn State in opposition to your home team,...but instead....State Pen whose inhabitants stand in opposition to society in general.

Got out, Got Up, and Got going aided by no man, yet led only by God.

Getting ready now to retire in the next five or so. Job wants me to move from Houston Texas to Chicago Illinois and it is far more likely for me to up and buy a metric than to do so.

Yes there is a "Nanny State" and I have heard of such, but not in my world. It exists because it is allowed to and that is why in my world it does not. I refuse. If enough folks refused, it would not be.

Again, I mean no offense whatsoever, and recognize your freedom to be you, and that I greatly respect.

As a fellow grandparent with 7 grand kids and 1 Great Grand kid, I simply like to remind those of us in such a sacred role that we are teachers.

Much like riding, we come up under the wings of the wisdom before us,.. and if we don't just up and die young, we need to preserve the way, that our seed does not simply accept "the nanny state", but stands in opposition pointing to a better way.

Much respect, no offense.

JimmyK

Sound like you are doing the right things.

Considering the fever swamp that all/most/some/a few public schools have become home schooling probably not such a bad thing. - I am told that there is a lot of support out there

Every time there is an academic competition the home schoolers seem to take top honors or at least it seems that way from my limited vantage point.

Nothing wrong with what Lucky suggested either.

And

Last but not least, physical education should be part of any curriculum. Nothing precluded self defense being the emphasis on what is being taught.

JimmyK, I hear you and no offense was taken. Still, I don't know what to do about it, if anything. It remains frustrating that my daughter would give in.

Wow was having this conversation last week with a friend... When I went to school the way to handle a bully was to knock them down and beat the snot out of them...And being small my entire life a few bullies thought I was an easy target... So I did. Today they work in groups, not always but I hear about it a lot. It is not one or two kids but groups of kids that do this... Hard for one kid to knock the snot out of a group of kids.
As far as the school goes they do not want to recognize bulling as that makes them liable for the kids. As far as I understand there is two different kinds of liability... If they acknowledge that the kid is a bully and he does it again they loss every thing. If they never acknowledge it they are not held as accountable... Does not make since to me

As far as home schooling goes it probably the best thing for his education. As American public school system is lacking and falling farther behind. They ranked 25 in the world last year.

As far as your frustrations, well go for a ride and clear your head. Best advice I got that will not get you in trouble.

My ex wife and I pulled her son out because he was being hit with anything those kids could get their hands on and hit him with it. Even then when he was in high school we called the cops and because it was no pictures of them hitting him or video they walked out and said sorry cant do anything about this no evidence. The school said they could keep Ron later so he could go to class after the other kids were in their classes. I asked them a question," what if they are waiting for him around a corner because they did not go to their classes like they were sopose to?" I got a blank stare as they muttered, "they would not do that they would be tarty". But yet I'm the moron?

I know I'm one of the younger ones here in this group since I was born in the later 70's but I had two bullies try it and they got stopped right quick and in a hurry. Since we moved around because of my father being in the military some tried that crap but they back down when one of their "own" gets his ass beat. I was always told never to start it but you damn well had better finish it.

JimmyA you have written the school board and the school admin knows what is going on. Maybe it's time a threat of the media and lawyers was thrown out there. First of all the media will eat this up and second the threat of lawyers can sometimes solve many problems pretty fast. The school and district don't want to wash their dirty laundry all over the media and thinking a lawsuit might be coming will scare them as well. Either way you need to stay calm( in today's world).

Let's hope the school gets this taken care of before another student is pulled out or something worse.

Jimmy I have read all the responses and I'm going to take a different direction on this matter, and it will be for the betterment of your Grandson. When I was in HS I was the second smallest dude in school (4'11") and I got the crap kicked out of me just for practice. At the time I had no idea how this would effect me as I grew older. Let me tell you this scar has been with me for years, and I still can't fully get this monkey off my back. I have been through counseling and all that but I guess it just didn't take. I moved to Tennessee from Texas in part to try and start over with this issue. My whole life I felt I needed to prove to someone...anyone I was not a puss. When I worked Armed Security in the Hood's of Fort Worth and Dallas I even taunted certain bad asses just to see if I could get into a fight with them. Sometimes I think back the things I did to start a fight it scares me. I was prepared to KILL someone to prove I wasn't a puss or weak. What in the hell kind of through process was that?
I work at it every day and ask God to help me, and so far I have calmed down quite a bit.
My message to you and your Grandson is.......The problem is not that your Grandson is weak, the problem is the Bully is probably insecure and needs to prove he's not weak, and has picked your Grandson to prove it.
Just ask God to intervene here and all things will come out in favor of your Grandson.
PS: I have NEVER told this story to anyone before
God Bless

Night Dragon

Thank you for sharing ND! Your a stand up guy.

Let your Grandson know that the bully in his high school will amount to nothing as an adult. He will wind up working in low wage paying jobs or will reside in prison like the kid who terrorized my school when I was younger. The best way to get back at these kind of guys is to be successful in life. Then hire them to dig a six foot hole in your yard in the summer months and when there done "tell them no not there here" and at the end of the day laugh at them and give them a few twenties. God Bless your grandson.

Jimmy you've gotten all kinds of advice here and most of it pretty good.... coming out of the public school system will be good for the kids intellect but I know where you're coming from about missing out on on the social stuff.... When I was in 7th grade this dude loved picking on me...finally I had had enough....I grabbed him by the collar and pinned him against the wall and then.....he hit me in the chin with an up[per cut...dropped me like a bag of rocks... After I came too I realized that when you're in unavoidable trouble and if possible ...step in close and hit them under the chin as hard as you possibly can....that'll bring things to a screeching halt PDQ.....me and that boy ended up friends after that cause I had showed him I wasnt going to take it anymore........ Fast forward 20 years and my daughter is getting picked on relentlessly in school by a little "gang" of girls...she wasnt in the clique..... I told her time and time again that it's not going to stop until you make a stand.... it happened one night before a basketball game....she grabbed the chief antagonist and slammed her into a door and several walls....... the bullying stopped.... i feel for ya man, cause I know it breaks your heart  to not really be able to jump in and protect your grandson...... You said this bully picks on everybody in the 9th grade.....maybe the 9th grade kids need to organize and  pounce on him....safety in numbers.... good luck man I hope all turns out well...

Hey Jim..been awhile since i've been around, but this is an interesting story..as you said alot of good advice..have you thought of taking this matter higher? Say a news story and slip the school board members name out..the press love this kind of shit. Hope it all works out for ya...homeschooling.....do you get a hand in your grandsons re education...like karate lessons...or similiar call it school sport for want of a better name.

There will always be bullies... It's just part of being human. Your grandson will get plenty of 'social time' even if he is home schooled. The issue here (IMHO) is not the bully but your g-son's confidence/attitude. In our day, we dealt with the threat physically and it (usually) stopped. We felt better, the bully-threat was reduced and our self-image was better.
Remember to 'engage' the young man and build his image of himself as a competent and forceful young man. By running away, this could be a negative experience.
Whatever, I'm ramblin... Just watch him... it's about him.
Edge 'Bullied' Walker

EW, that's what I told his mom. But he's never been afraid of the kid. In fact, I'm pretty sure he could whip the snot out of him. But he's grown up in a strong Christian environment where turn the other cheek is a part of his upbringing. He's a good kid and I'd say very self confident. Thanks all.