Boarder Advice

  • April 13, 2012 3:02 AM PDT
    I've decided to take on a boarder (room mate)

    Any advice??
    ~P
  • April 13, 2012 3:40 AM PDT
    Ground rules in writing is a must. Otherwise it can be difficult to have them move if things go bad.
  • April 13, 2012 3:57 AM PDT
    I agree with MSG Bigg ~ ground rules or a 'contract' if you will, in writing. This way there is no ambiguity and you will both feel more comfortable. It will make it easier for both of you to communicate if things are off-track and it may avoid some awkwardness.

    I work with contracted projects all day long and when there is an issue, no matter how contentious, I find that by coming at it from the angle of common ground works best. In the case of a project it would be what is best for the project. In your case, it would be what is mutually best for our continued living arrangement. If you find that the original agreement needs to be amended for the benefit of both of you then you can have that discussion and revise it.

    There is a reason why we use contracts and written agreements ~ it is not a lack of trust but rather a document that (hopefully) removes ambiguity by giving both parties a standard of behavior and peace of mind. Just remember, it's give and take so both of you should treat each other with respect and understanding. Good luck!
    • Moderator
    • 16870 posts
    April 13, 2012 3:59 AM PDT
    Don't do it.
    Been there, done that, and have the scars to prove it!
  • April 13, 2012 4:03 AM PDT
    I only ever work with contracts.....so yeah...contract everything right down to exactly what shares they have to pay for...Contract All The Way!!!
  • April 13, 2012 4:17 AM PDT
    Contract is the way to go! Its a Basement w/private entrance an bath, I would only share the kitchen & laundry room. It wont be too intrusive for either party. I appreciate the feed back!
  • April 13, 2012 4:22 AM PDT
    RevBigJohn wrote...
    Don't do it.
    Been there, done that, and have the scars to prove it!


    I wish I didn't have to Rev... This really stinks....
  • April 13, 2012 5:20 AM PDT
    ugh room mates suck, but get references, a signed agree ment, and look into crdit history a little bit.........I wish you best of Luck "T"
  • April 13, 2012 5:27 AM PDT
    Thanks T. Def gonna do ALL that!
    • 658 posts
    April 13, 2012 5:27 AM PDT
    Good Luck Paula, I've been there a few times over the years. Mostly it worked fine and a couple it didn't. I had contracts in all and the couple that didn't work out, I was sure glad I those papers.
    Medic
  • April 13, 2012 5:43 AM PDT
    Aside from "relationship" cohabitation, I have never shared my space in this kind of capacity...should be interesting...
    • 395 posts
    April 13, 2012 5:48 AM PDT
    try to find some one with the same likes/ dislikes as you..will make it easier to play nice....and get a contract signed first..lay down the ground rules second.......all in writing.....good luck!
  • April 13, 2012 6:12 AM PDT
    PaulaL12562 wrote...
    I've decided to take on a boarder (room mate)

    Any advice??
    ~P

    I've done that and read the laws ahead of time.  I mistakenly took the laws for what they say.  It says a roommate living in your home, using your kitchen, etc. had no rights and all you have to do is give them 30 days notice.  Once that notice is passed, you can treat them like a tresspasser.  Not true.  In order to do ANYTHING, you first have to file an eviction notice just as if they were renting an entire house from you.

    Don't do it.
  • April 13, 2012 6:16 AM PDT
    ChristopherM wrote...
    PaulaL12562 wrote...
    I've decided to take on a boarder (room mate)

    Any advice??
    ~P

    I've done that and read the laws ahead of time.  I mistakenly took the laws for what they say.  It says a roommate living in your home, using your kitchen, etc. had no rights and all you have to do is give them 30 days notice.  Once that notice is passed, you can treat them like a tresspasser.  Not true.  In order to do ANYTHING, you first have to file an eviction notice just as if they were renting an entire house from you.

    Don't do it.


    Squatters have more rights then the home owner...sad but true...
  • April 13, 2012 6:18 AM PDT
    try to find some one with the same likes/ dislikes as you..will make it easier to play nice....and get a contract signed first..lay down the ground rules second.......all in writing.....good luck!

    hehehehe maybe I should have taken this advice before the romanticcohabitations took place...
    Good advice Lola!
    • 3006 posts
    April 13, 2012 9:38 AM PDT
    Do your research on local zoning laws & rental units,also make sure to get everything down in writing and have it notarized,not sure if this will help make the doc legally binding in court,yet another reason to research it well before proceding with that sort of arrangement,and like Lola said try to find someone compatible with your views, life style so as to lessen the amount of friction that will surely result from sharing your space with a stranger.
    • 9 posts
    April 13, 2012 9:40 AM PDT
    Ok, Paula...I GOT's to put my 2 in here, as I've got bunches of experience with what you are considering. First, you've prolly made this decision, to defray cost. Something I can totally understand. But what "jumped" out at me, during this thread, (and great advice, ALL), is the fact that you've "never shared your space in this capacity". So I need to ask ya, do you think you can put up with all sorts of things you haven't even probably contemplated??? Cause I can list a bunch of things, that are headed your way, if you do this.
    1). No matter what state you live in, once a border/roommate has been in your home, for more than three days,
    you HAVE to, by law, go thru an eviction process, thru the courts. Local police will not get involved, unless
    you have been physically assaulted. (With the marks to prove it!)
    2). Do a thorough (and I mean extremely thorough) background check on this person. Criminal history, as well
    as anything, medical that you can find out. ASK!!! (Do they have any medical issue's) IF, they do have any
    medical issue's, you need to make sure, that YOU have renter's/mortgage insurance.
    3). Make copies of all of their ID's...DL, SS# card, Car Regristration and Insurance Card. (THIS is for YOUR
    protection, as well as theirs. Banking info, (find out if they have a current checking acct., if not, WHY NOT?
    4). DO NOT meet anyone off of craigslist. PERIOD.
    5). If you are still serious about this, put the word out with friends, that you are looking for a roommate, or
    thru a church or other entity, that you are WELL acquainted with.

    What you're considering can be beneficial, but it can also be extremely dangerous, in that you open yourself
    up to people, who can sometimes, turn around and really mess up your life. Aside from having to "put up" with
    all of their crap, if you don't know this person, you become vulnerable. In ways that can have a lifetime of con-
    sequences. I just want you to be sure. So, do your homework, and let us know what you decide. At the very
    least, if something were to go wrong, you can count on us, to come and beat some ass. We'll have your back.

    Ride Free
    Tweek
    I know of what I speak.
    • 1 posts
    April 13, 2012 9:41 AM PDT
    DON'T HAVE SOMEONE YOU KNOW MOVE IN... Unless it's a really good friend.

    A casual acquaintance moves in and all the sudden they think they are you best friend and want to go every where and do every thing with you!
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    • 16870 posts
    April 14, 2012 4:21 AM PDT
    PaulaL12562 wrote...
    RevBigJohn wrote...
    Don't do it.
    Been there, done that, and have the scars to prove it!


    I wish I didn't have to Rev... This really stinks....








    I can dig that, with the way the economy is we had to do some unplesent things ourselves as well to keep our home.