The old and battered bar door banged shut. Jake’s eyes sought the mirror behind the ancient bar and he saw a sight that brought a grin to his aging face. A rider dressed head to toe in new leathers and he was carrying his three quarter black helmet under his left arm. The rider had stopped just inside the door to allow his eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness of the watering hole.
Steppenwolf was just nailing the last chords of “Born to be Wild” on the juke box. The man in black threw his head back and helped them to finish the song. Jake had a brief flashback of “Wild Hogs” and silently asked the Cycle Gods to save him from this new and present wannabe...
No such luck. He headed to the bar and called out “Anybody here? Hey, who’s ass do I have to kick to getta beer in this crappy bar?” He grinned at Jake and laughed a hollow laugh of bravado. The owner was in back doing the monthly balances and she had asked Jake to watch the bar in her absence.
Jake uncurled himself from his barstool and said “Well, I guess that would be me. You wanna kick my ass before or after your beer?”
The rider’s attitude took a sharp turn toward civility. “Oh, hey bro, I wasn’t trying to cause any trouble.” His apologetic reply grated on Jake and he shook his head and stared at him. He told the rider “You asked who’s ass you gotta kick to get a beer and I asked ya if ya wanna kick my ass BEFORE or AFTER your beer, BRO? The question still stands.” The rider stood stock still and Jake could almost see the gears turning in his head as he tried to find his way out of this conundrum.
“While yer figuring out that question, here’s another one. What kinda beer ya drinking?” The rider gave a start and looked at the taps on the bar like a new chance to be rid of the old question.
“Budweiser” was his relieved reply. He looked Jake up and down and then looked at the bar as if answers were carved into the old and scarred bar top. Many initials had been carved into the top of that weathered bar. A recent carving caught his eye. “Talk is cheap.” He shuddered and looked back up at Jake who was just finished pouring his Bud.
Jake held his beer and locked eyes with the rider and asked “Before... or after?”
“After” he croaked. Jake had his poker face on and he reached out and set the cold brew on the bar. Wordlessly he took his own glass and put it in the wash sink. Taking a new glass, he poured himself a cold one. Setting it down in his place, he walked around the bar and settled back onto his barstool.
A silence stretched between the two patrons. Jake kept himself from laughing by pinching his leg and remembering ugly things about his Ex. The rider finally blurted out “Ya know sometimes I say things I don’t mean...” he trailed off and then looked at Jake, hoping for an easy way out of the predicament he had gotten himself into.
“Like, there was this time at my wedding. I started to make a toast but it kinda backfired on me. I said ‘To all the people in my new family that aren’t stupid.”
Jake winced and shook his head. He glanced at the rider and asked him “How long ya been riding?”
“Well, including today.... two days.” He hung his head. Jake started to laugh, softly but it was a gut-laugh. He shook his head and  told the rider “Yep, I remember the second day that I was a rider. It was two days in front of my first ass whooping for being a smart ass. I started out to make a toast and it went really bad. I toasted the Prez and the Veep of the club I was riding with. Then I screwed up and toasted the President’s old lady as the finest piece of azz I had ever followed.
“Found out that those kinda toasts are for club members only. Who’da thunk? So, the Veep came to me the next day and said I gotta fight him. I asked him ‘Before or after the next beer?’.
“Well, I guess it was before cause the fight was on! I went down a couple times and he went down once. I hopped up and asked him “Issit time for a beer yet, cause you are making me thirsty!” I told him I would keep my big mouth shut (right) and wouldn’t make anymore toasts to the Prez... or the Veep.
“Now, I’m tellin ya this because you waltzed in here, a bar you ain’t never been in and you come in here hollerin about kickin someone’s ass for a beer. When I take ya up on yer offer, you try to back out and say ‘Ya know sometimes I say things I don’t mean’. Well I’m here to tell ya, the question still stands. Before or after? Since you’ve said after and you are almost done...” Jake left the question hanging and the rider looked into his almost done beer.
“Is there a bathroom?” he asked quietly. Jake snorted and tossed his head in the direction of the pisser. Jake grinned to himself when the rider took his helmet with him. Several minutes later, Jake heard the sound of a bike start up and then immediately take off and was soon lost in the distance.
Jake got a good laugh when he thought about the leather-clad rider squeezing through the small bathroom window and the drop of ten feet to the dirt. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Bobbi came out from the office and thanked him for watching the bar. Then she asked him “Where did the rider go?”
Jake grinned a big dog grin and said “Went to the bathroom and I ain’t seen him since.”

Fine story. Real fine story........if indeed it is fiction. Thing is, some wannabes never smarten up. Got a call once from the Pres of a club in Texas. Asked me if so and so belonged to me. Turns out this particular club rescued our brother from a beating by another club and the Prez thought he'd call to let me know I gotta teach 'em better. Never could get through to the dude though. One thing I've learned over the years; just cuz there are bikes out front don't mean you're welcome so ya gotta pay attention.
Really liked your story man.

Peace

Don'tcha jis love it!?! But one thing's for sure, true or not, the "rider" in that story, never lipped off again. But I'd bet even money, he had to replace those leather pants he was wearin'! Funny thing is, we've all come across these green acres, and it IS funny, watchin' the fireworks. Better than the 4th of July. Good one, Edge(Walker)

Ride Free
Tweek

Its all fun and games and until someone calls ya on it! have a great one! "T"

I was a wannabee at age 11, riding illegally and I been riding 2 years by then...lol...and had started riding on the road...we had a motorcycle "Gang" and there was 11 of us, and we had ATTITUDE...Hahahahahahahaha.....and then a few years later...


Across the closest main highway from where we all lived was a Motorcycle Club, The 'Viking Nomads MC'...all seasoned, hardcore and as badass as a 13 year old would want to be...


They hated us and at every opportunity would give chase and try to do bad things to us.........and y'now why?


We had bigger and better bikes than they did!!!!!  Hahahahahahahahahahaa!!!!! Mine back in that day was an Arial Square Four 1000cc.


We learned the easy way, keep out of the way of the big dogs, dont rub the fur the wrong way coz ya live longer and hey, when the VP of that club had broken down a few years later and was pushing his old Norton Dominator 500cc along the road and I had an Econoline sized van (A Transit Van 100swb)... and I stopped to pick him and his bike up, we spoke about "stuff" and when he said where he lived I said that I didn't like going 'over to that area', he asked why and I told him that there was a club over there that hated us stupids and would often try and catch us without success, and y'know when you are talking to the wrong man? Yeah, He had that big grin across his weather beaten face that said he knew what I was talking about .... it still didn't register with me (yeah, was still a stupid at 18)....I helped him unload and then he invited me in for a beer, his wife came in and she was in on the joke and made a few fone calls, and when some 'club' members arrived I was looking for the door without seeming obvious...just in case someone recognised me y'know?  Well, as they were all talking about "I wonder where them stupids ended up" the guy I helped home looked me straight in the face and told me "The Story About Brotherhood"... After he had finished I knew that he knew that I knew who he was and he knew who I was.....I was made so freakin welcome, not quite scared sh**less but lets say it would'nt have taken much longer...lol...best alliance I EVER made in my life, I never joined that club but always had max respect for them, as they did for us after that...All these long years past now and there are just 2 of the original 11, we all went our own ways and joined various clubs, only 2 lasted the distance, all the other 9 are gone now, some to horrific, some to big c, some just faded away and died, we buried one a couple months ago, just 2 of us left now, the other one has not ridden since he had a small 'off' that actually scared him...I am an independant now, I was with a Backpatch Brotherhood Club for many many years, Respected by most, hated by a few, but our club was welcome wherever we went...it was a zero attitude club, we would shake a mans hand after putting him on his ass and help him back up and fetch the beers in and sit and drink the mistakes away......and it was all about the Brotherhood of Like Minded Bikers.....


Yep, I am that old Biker now passing on what I know to the young and stupids who hang out, and still with a zero attitude...and thats the way I like it...and hey...true story of me...

Thanx for sharing Jetman... Ya just never know how it's gonna turn out, ya know?
Sometimes yer the Noobie, sometimes yer the Teacher... It's all good! Can't believe that this post only got four replies... and Yep, it's a true story. Circumstances were a little diff, but not enuff to make a diff. I will always remember the 'First Lesson' and my botched toast to the Prez's ol lady...
Edge "Older/Wiser" Walker

I thought it was a worthwhile message...lol...I wouldn't have added all my stuff to it if it wasn't a good one...lol...

I like it...can't wait to try it out in new parts of the states...how much for brand new leather stuff?.....oh and wear can I get this grizzled ol face remodelled and me hair dyed?..think I'll need some stick on tatts too!

Another good story man....ya def. a character ...keepn' comin ~

I just wanted to (once again) point out that "New leathers" does NOT a WannaBe make...
Hey, we were all Noobies at one time, right? It's the attitude... Isn't it all ways the attitude? Like Jake said "Ya come into a bar that you never been in and offer to kick somebodie's butt for a beer." THAT'S the difference.
Thanks for the replies...
Edge "KickYerAss" Walker

Great story keep me hanging on every word. Here are some more words to live by......I have hung out and partied with both the Hells Angles and the Texas Banditio's and here are some simple rules to LIVE by.......Never look at their Old Ladies and make eye contact (Not that I've seen many worth looking at) be polite, and don't act like an ass. Don't speak unless you really have something to add of value to the conversation. Never walk up from behind on someone without announcing your arrival. Great way to get your ass kicked. NEVER approch the Pres for a chit chat. You need a member to introduce you to the Pres, and if he's in a mood to speak to you consider yourself lucky. 1% bikers walk a different walk, and talk a different talk.......Bikers who just enjoy the freedom of flight are different.....Make sure YOU know the difference!
Dragon

  
.....and some you just aint never going to talk to...lol...
(and quite a few you just simply DONT WANNA talk to...lol...)

Great story Edge like always. Im new to the biker scene but respect goes in all aspects of life. I love seeing someone get called out when there mouth writes checks there butt cant cash. If you ever write a book with some of you storys please let us know where to buy it I will be first in line

Another good piece of writing Edge,thanks for sharing this,...
it brings to mind the time I was riding out in the canyon with my fiance on my new Yamaha,back in 1982,with her on the back felt like king of the world,tho I knew better.There is a campground that gets rented out for special groups who congregate their for annual get togethers,it has a dirt road that leads ya down from the main road along a creek for 1/2 mile to the main meadow,where when I pulled up to stop all I could see was stripped custom harleys n lots of tattoo'd folk staring over at the new arrivals (us) on my nice shiny Yamaha,some guy came charging over at us yelling something,which I didnt bother to wait n listen to,hit the throttle and left in a cloud of dust,talk about fear yeah I was scared I knew from experience what could happen if we had been snagged.It was the HA having a major party, they didnt take kindly folks like us,even tho we were on two wheels,they werent the welcoming type.Their insignia is pretty easy to recognize even at a distance & leaving I realized I should have been more carefull..sometimes fear is a good thing,and being cautious too.Yet for me I always treat other riders, even the noobs with respect,even when they put their foot in it. I always recall the times I was the noob & the person being chased outta the party,didnt like it one bit being treated like that.Funny thing is I even helped one of those guys out on the freeway once,never thouight twice abt saving this guys neck,all I knew was he was on two wheels like me & needed a hand.
stay safe n enjoy the ride !

I grew up in a biker family. Ive seen alot through my years as a kid and as an adult. There is nothing like the "family" that you have, and even the most hardcore always helped to take care of us kids growing up, and helped to teach all of us kids valuable lessons (although I dont think needing to know how to roll a doobie by age 11 is one of them LOL), and helped to raise us with the right set of values and our heads screwed on straight! I owe so much of who I am to all of them from my years growing up, and I dont think I would be in the place I am now if it wasnt for all they did for us kids! And if not the most important lesson I learned, one of the most is " A man is only as good as his word".

Love it...another great story, brother.

excellent read from all! Thanks guys, for sharin!